core, rpc: disable memory output by default in traces (ethereum#23558)

* core: cmd: invert disableMemory

* core: fix missed inversion

* cmd/evm: preserve Flags but change default value

* Apply suggestions from code review

Co-authored-by: Martin Holst Swende <martin@swende.se>

Co-authored-by: Martin Holst Swende <martin@swende.se>