Support for refresh --with-dependents

[EronWright]

Hello!

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Issue details

A follow-up to this comment about supporting a targeted refresh with dependents.

Note that pulumi up --refresh --with-dependents -t ... doesn't work as expected today, because the refresh phase doesn't seem to include the dependents, and so Pulumi doesn't learn about any potential drift of the children.

Affected area/feature

[EronWright]

To repro, simply deploy a ConfigGroup containing a ConfigMap:

name: issue-1642
runtime: yaml
resources:
  cg:
    type: kubernetes:yaml/v2:ConfigGroup
    properties:
      objs:
      - apiVersion: v1
        kind: ConfigMap
        metadata:
          name: issue-1642

Delete the ConfigMap using kubectl, then try to get Pulumi to learn that it's gone without a full refresh:

❯ pulumi refresh -t urn:pulumi:dev::issue-1642::kubernetes:yaml/v2:ConfigGroup::myConfigGroup --target-dependents
Error: unknown flag: --target-dependents

❯ pulumi refresh -t urn:pulumi:dev::issue-1642::kubernetes:yaml/v2:ConfigGroup::myConfigGroup
Previewing refresh (dev)

     Type                               Name            Plan     
     pulumi:pulumi:Stack                issue-1642-dev           
     └─ kubernetes:yaml/v2:ConfigGroup  myConfigGroup            

Resources:
    1 unchanged

❯ pulumi up -t urn:pulumi:dev::issue-1642::kubernetes:yaml/v2:ConfigGroup::myConfigGroup --target-dependents --refresh
Previewing update (dev)

     Type                               Name            Plan     
     pulumi:pulumi:Stack                issue-1642-dev           
     └─ kubernetes:yaml/v2:ConfigGroup  myConfigGroup            

Resources:
    3 unchanged

Do you want to perform this update? yes
Updating (dev)

     Type                               Name            Status     
     pulumi:pulumi:Stack                issue-1642-dev             
     └─ kubernetes:yaml/v2:ConfigGroup  myConfigGroup              

Resources:
    3 unchanged

Duration: 1s

❯ pulumi refresh
Previewing refresh (dev)

     Type                                Name                           Plan       
     pulumi:pulumi:Stack                 issue-1642-dev                            
     └─ kubernetes:yaml/v2:ConfigGroup   myConfigGroup                             
 -      └─ kubernetes:core/v1:ConfigMap  myConfigGroup:eron/issue-1642  delete     

Resources:
    - 1 to delete
    2 unchanged

[Frassle]

We already have --target-dependents for other commands, we should just be consistent and support that for refresh as well.