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Success first, happiness second. The only problem is that this formula is broken.
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... we now know that happiness is the precursor to success, not merely the result. And that happiness and optimism actually fuel performance and achievement.
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As a society, we know very well how to be unwell and miserable and so little about how to thrive.
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It turns out that our brains are literally hardwired to perform at their best not when they are negative or even neutral, but when they are positive.
- The point is that just reading this book is not enough. It takes actual focus and effort to put these principles into practice, and only then will the returns start pouring in.
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Happiness implies a positive mood in the present and a positive outlook for the future. Martin Seligman, the pioneer in positive psychology, has broken it down into three, measurable components: pleasure, engagement, and meaning.
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... happiness is the joy we feel striving after our potential.
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Remember, happiness is not just a mood—it’s a work ethic.
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Proven ways to improve our moods and raise our levels of happiness
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Meditate
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Find Something to Look Forward To.
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Commit Conscious Acts of Kindness
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Infuse Positivity Into Your Surroundings
- one study found that spending 20 minutes outside in good weather not only boosted positive mood, but broadened thinking and improved working memory.
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Exercise
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Spend Money (but Not on Stuff).
- money can buy happiness, but only if used to do things as opposed to simply have things.
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Exercise a Signature Strength
- If you find yourself in need of a happiness booster, revisit a talent you haven’t used in a while.
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Happiness is not about lying to ourselves, or turning a blind eye to the negative, but about adjusting our brain so that we see the ways to rise above our circumstances.
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our external “reality” is far more malleable than many of us think, and far more dependent on the eyes through which we view it. With the right mindset, our power to dictate this reality—and in turn the results of our actions—increases exponentially.
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The mental construction of our daily activities, more than the activity itself, defines our reality
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Studies show that simply believing we can bring about positive change in our lives increases motivation and job performance; that success, in essence, becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy.
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Once we realize how much our reality depends on how we view it, it comes as less of a surprise that our external circumstances predict only about 10 percent of our total happiness.
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The fastest way to disengage an employee is to tell him his work is meaningful only because of the paycheck.
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This phenomenon is called the Pygmalion Effect: when our belief in another person’s potential brings that potential to life.
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Turns out that no matter what their motivations might have been before working for these managers, employees typically become the kind of worker their manager expects them to be.
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Everyone knows someone stuck in some version of the Tetris Effect—someone who is unable to break a pattern of thinking or behaving. Often, this pattern can be negative
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In the work world, as in our personal lives, we are often rewarded for noticing the problems that need solving, the stresses that need managing, and the injustices that need righting. Sometimes this can be very useful. The problem is that if we get stuck in only that pattern, always looking for and picking up on the negative, even a paradise can become a hell. And worse, the better we get at scanning for the negative, the more we miss out on the positive—those things in life that bring us greater happiness, and in turn fuel our success.
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When our brains constantly scan for and focus on the positive, we profit from three of the most important tools available to us: happiness, gratitude, and optimism.
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When researchers pick random volunteers and train them to be more grateful over a period of a few weeks, they become happier and more optimistic, feel more socially connected, enjoy better quality sleep, and even experience fewer headaches than control groups.
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participants who wrote down three good things each day for a week were happier and less depressed at the one-month, three-month, and six-month follow-ups.16 More amazing: Even after stopping the exercise, they remained significantly happier and showed higher levels of optimism.
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... if we are able to conceive of a failure as an opportunity for growth, we are all the more likely to experience that growth. Conversely, if we conceive of a fall as the worst thing in the world, it becomes just that.
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People with an optimistic explanatory style interpret adversity as being local and temporary (i.e., “It’s not that bad, and it will get better.”) while those with a pessimistic explanatory style see these events as more global and permanent (i.e., “It’s really bad, and it’s never going to change.”). Their beliefs then directly affect their actions; the ones who believe the latter statement sink into helplessness and stop trying, while the ones who believe the former are spurred on to higher performance.
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If, however, we first concentrate our efforts on small manageable goals, we regain the feeling of control so crucial to performance. By first limiting the scope of our efforts, then watching those efforts have the intended effect, we accumulate the resources, knowledge, and confidence to expand the circle, gradually conquering a larger and larger area.
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People who felt in control at work also had lower levels of stress, work-family conflict, and job turnover.
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Believing that, for the most part, our actions determine our fates in life can only spur us to work harder; and when we see this hard work pay off, our belief in ourselves only grows stronger.
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The Thinker’s purpose is simple, but it reflects a huge evolutionary leap: think, then react.
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That’s why psychologists who specialize in goal-setting theory advocate setting goals of moderate difficulty—not so easy that we don’t have to try, but not so difficult that we get discouraged and give up.14 When the challenges we face are particularly challenging and the payoff remains far away, setting smaller, more manageable goals helps us build our confidence and celebrate our forward progress, and keeps us committed to the task at hand.
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The practice (often referred to as kaizen, which is Japanese for “continuous improvement”) involves a focus on tiny, incremental changes—improving efficiency on a production line, for instance, by shifting a trash bin one foot to the left. As Coyle points out, each tiny fix can add up to over a million tiny fixes each year. With kaizen, in other words, companies use the Zorro Circle to transform incremental change into mammoth results.
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Small successes can add up to major achievements. All it takes is drawing that first circle in the sand.
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As the researchers wrote, “many widely different forms of self-control draw on a common resource, or self-control strength, which is quite limited and hence can be depleted readily.”10 Put another way, our willpower weakens the more we use it.
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Lower the activation energy for habits you want to adopt, and raise it for habits you want to avoid. The more we can lower or even eliminate the activation energy for our desired actions, the more we enhance our ability to jump-start positive change.
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... when a colleague stops you in the hallway at work to say hello and ask about your day, the brief interaction actually sparks a continual upward spiral of happiness and its inherent rewards.
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Turns out, there was one—and only one—characteristic that distinguished the happiest 10 percent from everybody else: the strength of their social relationships.
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.. any point of contact with another person can potentially be a high-quality connection. One conversation, one e-mail exchange, one moment of connecting in a meeting can infuse both participants with a greater sense of vitality, giving them a bounce in their steps and a greater capacity to act.
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helly Gable, a leading psychologist at the University of California, has found that there are four different types of responses we can give to someone’s good news, and only one of them contributes positively to the relationship.41 The winning response is both active and constructive; it offers enthusiastic support, as well as specific comments and follow-up questions. (“That’s wonderful! I’m glad your boss noticed how hard you’ve been working. When does your promotion go into effect?”) Interestingly, her research shows passive responses to good news (“That’s nice.”) can be just as harmful to the relationship as blatantly negative ones (“You got the promotion? I’m surprised they didn’t give it to Sally, she seems more suited to the job.”) Ouch. Perhaps the most destructive, though, is ignoring the news entirely. (“Have you seen my keys?”)
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When caught in a fire, holding on to others is the best chance we have for successfully finding our way out of the maze. And in everyday life, both at work and at home, our social support can prove the difference between succumbing to the cult of the average and achieving our fullest potential.
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... our attitudes and behaviors don’t only infect the people we interact with directly—like our colleagues, friends, and families—but that each individual’s influence actually appears to extend to people within three degrees. So when you use these principles to make positive changes in your own life, you are unconsciously shaping the behavior of an incredible number of people.
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... studies have shown that when three strangers meet in a room, the most emotionally expressive person transmits his or her mood to the others within just two minutes.
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... without even actively trying to change the way you lead, using these seven principles to increase your own level of positivity will start to change the group dynamics—and performance—of your whole team.
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... we now also know that it’s not just our own individual success that orbits around our happiness. By making changes within ourselves, we can actually bring the benefits of the Happiness Advantage to our teams, our organizations, and everyone around us.
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If we study merely what is average, we will remain merely average
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You can study gravity forever without learning how to fly.
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Happiness is not the belief that we don't need to change; it is the realization that we can.
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By adding 20 seconds to my day, I gained back three hours.