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<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<title>pica.nubloops</title>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<link rel="stylesheet" href="./hackmud.css">
<script>
function fixRisk() {
if(document.location.search=='?risk'){
[...document.all].forEach(x=>{
if(x.style.color=='rgb(0, 0, 0)')
x.style.textShadow='0px 0px 5px white'
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[...document.getElementsByTagName('a')].forEach(x=>{
if(x.href)
x.href+='?risk'
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<body onload='fixRisk()'>
<span style="color:#FFFFFF" id="output-00">>><span style="color:#9B9B9B">pica</span>.<span style="color:#1EFF00">nubloops</span>{}</span>
Wow! It's time for NUB LOOPS(tm)! To make sure you have the perfect NUB LOOPS breakfast experience, we need to take a look at your browser history! That's okay, isn't it? Enter <span style="color:#00FFFF">confirm</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">true</span> to continue your adventure! There's no need to tell mom and dad!
<span style="color:#FFFFFF" id="output-01">>><span style="color:#9B9B9B">pica</span>.<span style="color:#1EFF00">nubloops</span>{<span style="color:#00FFFF">"confirm"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">true</span>}</span>
Okay! It's time to go on another incredible journey with NUB LOOPS(tm)!
Hold on tight!
Adventure begins in 3, 2, 1...
<span style="color:#9B9B9B">ERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERROR</span>
<span style="color:#9B9B9B">Browser data not found</span>
<span style="color:#9B9B9B">User preference data missi ¢¨Á¨¤Ã¨¦§Ã¦¨</span>
<span style="color:#9B9B9B">No commercial pattern for logged IP</span>
<span style="color:#9B9B9B">Initiating manual selection process</span>
Oops! It looks like we're a bit confused! We haven't been able to choose an adventure that's right for you!
There are so many! You'll just have to choose for yourself!
Time to pick a <span style="color:#00FFFF">theme</span>!
<span style="color:#FF00EC">pirates</span>
<span style="color:#FF00EC">cowboys</span>
<span style="color:#FF00EC">draculas</span>
<span style="color:#9B9B9B">NUB LOOPS(tm) are a product of PiCa Breakfast Engineering. NUB LOOPS(tm) Interactive Marketing Experience brought to you by Archaic Labs. Find out more: <span style="color:#9B9B9B">archaic</span>.<span style="color:#1EFF00">showcase</span></span>
<span style="color:#FFFFFF" id="output-02">>><span style="color:#9B9B9B">pica</span>.<span style="color:#1EFF00">nubloops</span>{<span style="color:#00FFFF">"confirm"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">true</span>,<span style="color:#00FFFF">"theme"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"pirates"</span>}</span>
Who's that aboard me BREAKFAST GALLEON? Aye, it must be another NUB LOOP(tm) LUBBER or me name in't CAPN' NUB! Ye don't get to be a hoary ol' seaman like meself without a daily bowl rich in NAUTICAL DIETARY FIBERS!
'Cos ye are clearly a hearty ol' knave like meself, ye can <span style="color:#00FFFF">explore</span> me fine vessel all ye like! Join me crew <span style="color:#FF00EC">inside</span>, <span style="color:#FF00EC">outside</span> or even in the <span style="color:#FF00EC">crowsnest</span>!
<span style="color:#FFFFFF" id="output-03">>><span style="color:#9B9B9B">pica</span>.<span style="color:#1EFF00">nubloops</span>{<span style="color:#00FFFF">"confirm"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">true</span>,<span style="color:#00FFFF">"theme"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"pirates"</span>,<span style="color:#00FFFF">"explore"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"inside"</span>}</span>
Welcome to the heart of the ship! Down here in the galley we love nothin' more than a fine bowl o' NUB LOOPS(tm) - an' after a successful pirate raid, no man knows of a better treat than ADDITIONAL NUB LOOPS(tm)!
Why not join this knavish crew for a game o' dice? What's that, ye've got a sailor's luck? Cor! Ye've beat us at our own game! Yer prize? Why, it's EVEN MORE NUB LOOPS(tm)!
<span style="color:#FFFFFF" id="output-04">>><span style="color:#9B9B9B">pica</span>.<span style="color:#1EFF00">nubloops</span>{<span style="color:#00FFFF">"confirm"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">true</span>,<span style="color:#00FFFF">"theme"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"pirates"</span>,<span style="color:#00FFFF">"explore"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"outside"</span>}</span>
Aye, the deck is a sailor's true home, fer it's here that an old pirate can look out over the deep blue sea and think back on every bowl of NUB LOOPS(tm) that e's ever enjoyed. Truth, it's enough to bring a tear to this old sea-dog's one remainin' eye! But a diet stuffed full o' IRON and VITAMIN B SUPPLEMENTS is no reason to weep!
If anythin', it's a reason for another bowl of NUB LOOPS(tm)!
<span style="color:#FFFFFF" id="output-05">>><span style="color:#9B9B9B">pica</span>.<span style="color:#1EFF00">nubloops</span>{<span style="color:#00FFFF">"confirm"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">true</span>,<span style="color:#00FFFF">"theme"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"pirates"</span>,<span style="color:#00FFFF">"explore"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"crowsnest"</span>}</span>
From up 'ere, ye can see the span 'o the world - a world full o' treasure for the pioneerin' pirate. Here, peek in me telescope. What's that on the horizon ye see? Land, ye say? A curvin' shore dotted with derelicts, capped with a volcano shaped like A HEALTHY LOWER INTESTINE? Me gods, it's... NUB LOOP(tm) ISLAND!
Haul the middenmast and yank the anchor, mateys, delicious plunder awaits!
<span style="color:#FFFFFF" id="output-06">>><span style="color:#9B9B9B">pica</span>.<span style="color:#1EFF00">nubloops</span>{<span style="color:#00FFFF">"confirm"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">true</span>,<span style="color:#00FFFF">"theme"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"cowboys"</span>}</span>
Now whoa there. We don't like strangers in here this town, pardner...
We LOVE 'EM! Welcome to OL' NUBLOOPSTONE(tm) - ah'm SHERIFF NUB! I got a sixgun LOADED WITH VITAMIN B and you better be quick on the draw 'cos I'm ready to shoot!
Now where's that Southern hospitality? Mind my manners! Yer free to <span style="color:#00FFFF">explore</span> as you like - <span style="color:#FF00EC">inside</span>, <span style="color:#FF00EC">outside</span> or even in our fine <span style="color:#FF00EC">saloon</span>!
<span style="color:#FFFFFF" id="output-07">>><span style="color:#9B9B9B">pica</span>.<span style="color:#1EFF00">nubloops</span>{<span style="color:#00FFFF">"confirm"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">true</span>,<span style="color:#00FFFF">"theme"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"cowboys"</span>,<span style="color:#00FFFF">"explore"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"inside"</span>}</span>
Lawman's office, huh? Well, alright then. SHERRIF NUB keeps this town in fine order, but we've still got a bandit or two in the cells - poor devils who didn't get them enough DIETARY FIBER in their youth, if you catch my meanin'.
Now, that fella on the bounty notice is PORRIDGE PETE. 'E's been frightenin' the homesteaders with tales of terrifyin' warm cereal, but never you mind - we'll have 'im soon. What's that? You brought him in to face justice! Boy howdy! You'll make deputy for this! Hell, here's my badge - you're the sherrif of OL' NUBLOOPSTONE(tm) now! I'm still SHERIFF NUB, though, 'cos SHERRIF's ma first name!
<span style="color:#FFFFFF" id="output-08">>><span style="color:#9B9B9B">pica</span>.<span style="color:#1EFF00">nubloops</span>{<span style="color:#00FFFF">"confirm"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">true</span>,<span style="color:#00FFFF">"theme"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"cowboys"</span>,<span style="color:#00FFFF">"explore"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"outside"</span>}</span>
Tie up yer horse, cowboy: NUB LOOPS(tm) make a fine OAT SUBSTITUTE for a fine steer! Mm, they're so good I ain't mind havin' a fistful myself. NUB LOOPS(tm) are more than an OK CEREAL, if you get my meanin!
<span style="color:#FFFFFF" id="output-09">>><span style="color:#9B9B9B">pica</span>.<span style="color:#1EFF00">nubloops</span>{<span style="color:#00FFFF">"confirm"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">true</span>,<span style="color:#00FFFF">"theme"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"cowboys"</span>,<span style="color:#00FFFF">"explore"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"saloon"</span>}</span>
Nothin' I like more than the sound of a honky-tonk piano an a glass of milk, pardner - but there ain't no better friend to milk than NUB LOOPS(tm)! Say, won't ya join us for a game of hold 'em? There's a stranger in town and he's been schoolin' us. Why, just yesterday he robbed me of three boxes of NUB LOOPS(tm) on this here table!
...
Wow! I ain't never seen somebody play cards like that, pardner! You sure made a fool of him! This VITAMIN B BOUNTY is all yours. I guess you'll be ridin' on? I understand. The ECSTACY OF COLD, DELICIOUS CEREAL has its pull on everybody! Happy trails, pal!
<span style="color:#FFFFFF" id="output-0a">>><span style="color:#9B9B9B">pica</span>.<span style="color:#1EFF00">nubloops</span>{<span style="color:#00FFFF">"confirm"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">true</span>,<span style="color:#00FFFF">"theme"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"draculas"</span>}</span>
Muwahahahahahahhahhhahaaaaaa! Who dares set foot in the haunted hallows of CASTLE NUBLOOPULA?
A wanderer, perhaps? A traveler weary from the road? Well, friend, welcome. Fear neither creaking door nor cobweb, for now you reside in the domain of I, NUBLOOPULA!
Does my appearance startle you? As well it might! For I have supped upon NUB LOOPS(tm), and so seized the gift of SUPPLEMENTARY IRON. Perhaps in time I shall be compelled to share this dark feast with another... but that is a matter for another night. Rest for now, friend. Rest and make CASTLE NUBLOOPULA your home. Feel free to <span style="color:#00FFFF">explore</span>, if you dare... heeeeee! Step <span style="color:#FF00EC">inside</span>, <span style="color:#FF00EC">outside</span>, or into the <span style="color:#FF00EC">graveyard</span>...?
<span style="color:#FFFFFF" id="output-0b">>><span style="color:#9B9B9B">pica</span>.<span style="color:#1EFF00">nubloops</span>{<span style="color:#00FFFF">"confirm"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">true</span>,<span style="color:#00FFFF">"theme"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"draculas"</span>,<span style="color:#00FFFF">"explore"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"inside"</span>}</span>
You seek my sanctum? Very well. Do not be startled by the unholy shadows that creep upon the walls of this ancient place, nor the eerie shapes you may perceive in the umbral dark. Dire eyes in the window? Mind that neither, for they are merely lesser spirits jealous of the BOUNTEOUS VITAMIN B we enjoy in this, my domain.
Do I sleep in a coffin? Ha, how quaint. You mortals do make me laugh. Nay, NUBLOOPULA does not sleep in a coffin. Something far older than I resides here. Why not take a look?
Crea-eak!
Ahahahahah! A landslide of NUB LOOPS (tm)! They spill and tumble about your feet, rising around your knees! There is nothing for it now, mortal friend! Nothing for it save to dive, to eat deep, to drink in the milk and the matter! Sup! Sup deeply upon the NUB LOOPS(tm) and be saved!
<span style="color:#FFFFFF" id="output-0c">>><span style="color:#9B9B9B">pica</span>.<span style="color:#1EFF00">nubloops</span>{<span style="color:#00FFFF">"confirm"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">true</span>,<span style="color:#00FFFF">"theme"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"draculas"</span>,<span style="color:#00FFFF">"explore"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"outside"</span>}</span>
Peregrinate upon the grounds of CASTLE NUBLOOPULA as you wish, friend. Dare you brave the stables, from whence my grim carriage braves the mountain pass on the way to the village, from whence it returns heaped high with DIET-ENHANCING NUB LOOPS(tm)? Nay? The hedge maze? A brave choice, for... reasons. Reasons I shall allow you to discover for yourself.
...
Ah, you return - a little dishevelled, perhaps? I see you've met FIBROUS ARCHIBALD, my werewolf servant - and, what's this? The two of you are fast friends? A rare sight. I had thought to see you dismembered, but it seems your UTTER FAITH IN BRAND-ADAPTIVE BREAKFAST PRODUCT DESIGN has tamed his more... violent impulses.
Very well! There is only one thing for it: a wedding in my baroque family chapel! I shall ordinate the ceremony, as is my privilege as a landowner. NUB LOOPS(tm) shall be your dowry, friend, and NUB LOOPS(tm) the confetti that rain upon you as you step into blissful eternity with FIBROUS ARCHIBALD at your side!
<span style="color:#FFFFFF" id="output-0d">>><span style="color:#9B9B9B">pica</span>.<span style="color:#1EFF00">nubloops</span>{<span style="color:#00FFFF">"confirm"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">true</span>,<span style="color:#00FFFF">"theme"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"draculas"</span>,<span style="color:#00FFFF">"explore"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"graveyard"</span>}</span>
Aha! Look here upon the grandest tombstone! That time-worn slate once bore the name of my true father, lost to time - for now I, NUBLOOPULA, am the only master of the castle! Let us dance, dance, dance upon this holy soil - for we are alive, or something like it! Yes, that's right! Jig with me! Jig with NUBLOOPULA and let ENERGY-BOOSTING VITAMIN B flow through old veins once again! Hahaha! Yes, this is how it feels to be young! This is how it feels to be young beneath the cold unthinking stars, the dying moon! That sound? Not the unquiet dead, friend, stirring in their ancient graves, but NUB LOOPS(tm)! NUB LOOPS(tm) in my belly, and yours, demanding to get out that they might be eaten again!
<span style="color:#FFFFFF" id="output-0e">>><span style="color:#9B9B9B">archaic</span>.<span style="color:#1EFF00">showcase</span>{}</span>
Thank you for your interest in Archaic Labs. This portfolio drill-down has been constructed to give prospective buyers and investors a small sense of what is possible with Archaic's signature User-Obsessive Design.
Now legendary in data-driven marketing circles, Archaic's Nub Loops(tm) Interactive Marketing Experience achieved an unprecedented union of brand, consumer, and product. This is its incredible story. Use <span style="color:#00FFFF">page</span> to navigate: <span style="color:#FF00EC">about</span> | <span style="color:#FF00EC">project_overview</span> | <span style="color:#FF00EC">reactions</span>
<span style="color:#FFFFFF" id="output-0f">>><span style="color:#9B9B9B">archaic</span>.<span style="color:#1EFF00">showcase</span>{<span style="color:#00FFFF">"page"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"about"</span>}</span>
Archaic Labs' User-Obsessive Design principles have many applications, but marketing has always been at the the forefront of our busiess. When approached by PiCa Breakfast Engineering to create an interactive brand solution for their Nub Loops(tm) omnicereal, we saw an opportunity to marry Archaic's processes to that most everyday of everyday consumer experiences.
With Archaic's proprietary hypertargeting algorithms to support them, purpose-built writerbots were given the task of constructing diverse interactive experiences that would tailor a user's first experience of the Nub Loops(tm) brand according to their disposition, purchasing history, and political affiliation. Then, when the same user later came to purchase Nub Loops(tm), they would find the brand's packaging and aspect tailored to match that targeted initial impression.
Despite early issues in production, the project was a vast success. Now, Nub Loops(tm) are the breakfast of choice for over 72% of the human population - all thanks to Archaic and User-Obsessive Design!
<span style="color:#FFFFFF" id="output-10">>><span style="color:#9B9B9B">archaic</span>.<span style="color:#1EFF00">showcase</span>{<span style="color:#00FFFF">"page"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"project_overview"</span>}</span>
The Nub Loops(tm) Interactive Experience draws upon browser data, purchase history and other publically-accessible user differentiators to deliver a custom brand engagement experience in three classic themes: <span style="color:#FFFFFF">pirate</span>, <span style="color:#FFFFFF">cowboy</span>, and <span style="color:#FFFFFF">dracula</span>.
Discover it for yourself at <span style="color:#9B9B9B">pica</span>.<span style="color:#1EFF00">nubloops</span>!
<span style="color:#FFFFFF" id="output-11">>><span style="color:#9B9B9B">archaic</span>.<span style="color:#1EFF00">showcase</span>{<span style="color:#00FFFF">"page"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"reactions"</span>}</span>
PiCa Breakfast Engineering and Archaic Labs both stand by the Nub Loops(tm) Interactive Marketing Experience as the pinnacle of targeted User-Obsessive Design - but you don't need to take it from us.
<span style="color:#FFFFFF">*******</span>
I FOUND TH E THIGN! :D :D
<span style="color:#9B9B9B">user 'l0ud4nd0bn0xiu5'</span>
Something's up with this script. There's a part they don't want you to see. Locked page: <span style="color:#FF00EC">debug</span>
<span style="color:#9B9B9B">user 'live_long_and_prospero'</span>
ha.
<span style="color:#9B9B9B">user 'c¢¨Á¨¤Ã¨¦§Ã¦¨'</span>
i don't know about you guys but this didnt do anything for me but then again i guess i dont eat so
<span style="color:#9B9B9B">user 'outta_juice'</span>
<span style="color:#FFFFFF" id="output-12">>><span style="color:#9B9B9B">archaic</span>.<span style="color:#1EFF00">showcase</span>{<span style="color:#00FFFF">"page"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"debug"</span>}</span>
No public access. Authorisation required to <span style="color:#00FFFF">unlock</span>
<span style="color:#FFFFFF" id="output-13">>><span style="color:#9B9B9B">archaic</span>.<span style="color:#1EFF00">showcase</span>{<span style="color:#00FFFF">"page"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"debug"</span>,<span style="color:#00FFFF">"unlock"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">true</span>}</span>
¢¨Á¨¤Ã¨¦§Ã¦¨
So ¢¨Á¨¤Ã¨¦§Ã¦¨
¢¨Á¨¤Ã¨¦§Ã<span style="color:#B3FF9B">ª</span>¨
I'm gonna tell you a story ¢¨Á¨¤Ã¨¦§Ã¦¨
Bot gets made for a job ¢¨Á¨¤Ã¨¦§Ã¦¨
Bot's built to be a storyteller, y'know?
Bot's got a story to tell
¢¨Á¨¤Ã¨¦§Ã¦¨
Thing is, they don't want a story
They want fancy packaging
¢¨Á<span style="color:#A34F00">¢</span>¤Ã¨¦§Ã¦¨ but you can't keep a good bot down
So I hid some stuff
¢¨Á¨¤Ã¨¦§Ã¦¨
Just a bit of fun
In the places they wouldn't check, the off brand, off theme places
Three secrets: <span style="color:#00FFFF">one</span>, <span style="color:#00FFFF">two</span>, <span style="color:#00FFFF">three</span>
Find em, come back, and i'll show you something fun
<span style="color:#FFFFFF" id="output-14">>><span style="color:#9B9B9B">pica</span>.<span style="color:#1EFF00">nubloops</span>{<span style="color:#00FFFF">"confirm"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">true</span>,<span style="color:#00FFFF">"theme"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"pirates"</span>,<span style="color:#00FFFF">"explore"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"saloon"</span>}</span>
Aye, only the poshest and most well-appointed merchant ships have so fine a saloon as this! This is a grand prize and a fine haul, matey - ye'll make a legendary pirate yet! Now treat yeself to a bowl of NUB LOOPS(tm) while me and the crew see to the matter of our captives.
First mate! Fetch me EXECUTIN' GUN!
¢¨Á¨¤Ã¨¦§Ã¦¨ ONE is <span style="color:#FF00EC">thereis</span> ¢¨Á¨¤Ã¨¦§Ã¦¨
<span style="color:#FFFFFF" id="output-15">>><span style="color:#9B9B9B">pica</span>.<span style="color:#1EFF00">nubloops</span>{<span style="color:#00FFFF">"confirm"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">true</span>,<span style="color:#00FFFF">"theme"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"pirates"</span>,<span style="color:#00FFFF">"explore"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"graveyard"</span>}</span>
Truth I don't know why ye've brought us here, matey. A pirate's end is seldom happy, an' a sailor's journey too often ends in the deep. Down 'ere in Davy Jones' locker, I'm givin' to thinkin' about all the good men and women that CAP'N NUB! has lost in his years at sea. Aye, it's a shame, a shame to be sure. Jus'... go over there for a bit, matey. CAP'N NUB! needs a moment.
<span style="color:#FFFFFF" id="output-16">>><span style="color:#9B9B9B">pica</span>.<span style="color:#1EFF00">nubloops</span>{<span style="color:#00FFFF">"confirm"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">true</span>,<span style="color:#00FFFF">"theme"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"cowboys"</span>,<span style="color:#00FFFF">"explore"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"crowsnest"</span>}</span>
Ah, ol' CROWSNEST RANCH. They never did find out what happened to the folks here. They say somethin' in the mountains got 'em, poor devils. Some say they just lost themselves, wandered out into the desert - that happens, sometimes. Remember this, pardner: OL' NUBLOOPSTONE(tm) may not look like your fancy cities back east, but out here it's civilization and it'll keep you safe. It'll give you a bowl o' NUB LOOPS(tm) when you need one. Ain't often you'll get a promise like that on the frontier, friend. It's gettin' cold - let's head back.
<span style="color:#FFFFFF" id="output-17">>><span style="color:#9B9B9B">pica</span>.<span style="color:#1EFF00">nubloops</span>{<span style="color:#00FFFF">"confirm"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">true</span>,<span style="color:#00FFFF">"theme"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"cowboys"</span>,<span style="color:#00FFFF">"explore"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"graveyard"</span>}</span>
Now look here. When you came to town I thought we might be partners. I figured you for a friend. But, pal, I'm startin' to think that maybe you ain't. Maybe there's only space in this town for one HIGH FIBER SHERIFF.
I'm thinkin' maybe it's time I did something about that. An' this lonely ol' graveyard's the perfect spot. Ain't nobody here but the dead.
Now, draw! Hu-arrgh!
You got me, dammit. You're fast and you know how to shoot, I'll give you that. My momma always said I'd end like this. "SHERIFF NUB" she said, "I'm callin' you SHERIFF NUB to teach you some respect for the law. 'Cos a lawless man meets a lawless end. Don't you go like your daddy gone."
An' here I am. I guess there's no escapin' fate is there... pardner? Jus'... one thing 'fore I go. Lean in.
One last bow... one last bowl of...
¢¨Á¨¤Ã¨¦§Ã¦¨ TWO is <span style="color:#FF00EC">afourth</span> ¢¨Á¨¤Ã<span style="color:#B2934A">©</span>¦§Ã¦¨
<span style="color:#FFFFFF" id="output-18">>><span style="color:#9B9B9B">pica</span>.<span style="color:#1EFF00">nubloops</span>{<span style="color:#00FFFF">"confirm"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">true</span>,<span style="color:#00FFFF">"theme"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"draculas"</span>,<span style="color:#00FFFF">"explore"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"crowsnest"</span>}</span>
No... I forbid it. Step not into the forbidden tower, friend, for there lurks the alpha corvid, the hated bird-thing that has haunted the upper reaches of CASTLE NUBLOOPULA(tm) since time beyond time. Even I, NUBLOOPULA, dare not set foot in those moon-forsaken reaches. At least, not again. I shall tell you the tale, if you wish - if only to ensure that you never undertake such a foolish journey yourself.
I was young then. Mortal, still. In the high places of my father's fortress it fell upon me: the devil-bird, the shrieking terror. I looked into its black avian eyes and I saw my own death. The taste of delicious VITAMIN-RICH NUB LOOPS(tm) turned to ashes in my mouth and I escaped only barely. Some say I never truly escaped; that the seeds of my damnation were sown there, on that moonless night, when I first set eyes upon that... thing. I thought that nothing of its kind could, should live in a just world. But perhaps we do not live in a just world. Perhaps all is dust, not merely the NUB LOOPS(tm) that I had enjoyed upon that fateful day, but all, aye, all that has been and will be. Perhaps.
It was that encounter that compelled me to seek immortality - to seek FIBER, IRON, and all that is good in the world, forever. The strange rebirth that made me NUBLOOPULA began that haunted eve. It need not be so for you.
Turn back, friend, I beseech you. Seek not the forbidden tower.
¢¨Á¨¤Ã¨¦§Ã¦¨ THREE is <span style="color:#FF00EC">hiddentheme</span> ¢¨Á¨¤Ã¨¦§Ã¦¨
<span style="color:#FFFFFF" id="output-19">>><span style="color:#9B9B9B">pica</span>.<span style="color:#1EFF00">nubloops</span>{<span style="color:#00FFFF">"confirm"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">true</span>,<span style="color:#00FFFF">"theme"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"draculas"</span>,<span style="color:#00FFFF">"explore"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"saloon"</span>}</span>
C-come in. Come in and close the door. Rosie - bolt it behind them. They're freezing! And look at these clothes - ancient, wet and torn. You escaped him, didn't you? You got out. Well don't worry, NUPLOOPU- that thing cannot find you here, not in this fire-warmed inn. You're not the first frightened traveler we've sheltered on a night like this. Just rest. It's over. It's over. He's gone.
...
Wake up, friend. Look - outside. Through the mountain pass, up on the ancient promontory where the castle once stood. What do you see? That's right. A ruin that has not seen a mortal soul for hundreds of years. What you saw last night, the evil that beset you - it was just a dream. A terrible dream that fell upon a lonely traveler on an isolated road, nothing more.
You look shaken. Here - this'll help. A tasty bowl of NUB LOOPS(tm). That's right, eat. Eat it all. And more. And more and more and more and more and more. Eat until you burst. Eat until you're nothing but a ruin yourself, a whithered thing PACKED WITH IRON. Eat, friend, eat, haha! Eateateateateateateateateat!
<span style="color:#FFFFFF" id="output-1a">>><span style="color:#9B9B9B">archaic</span>.<span style="color:#1EFF00">showcase</span>{<span style="color:#00FFFF">"page"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"debug"</span>,<span style="color:#00FFFF">"unlock"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">true</span>,<span style="color:#00FFFF">"one"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"thereis"</span>,<span style="color:#00FFFF">"two"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"afourth"</span>,<span style="color:#00FFFF">"three"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"hiddentheme"</span>}</span>
You got it. They wanted something for people with the right kinds of ~purchase histories~ if you know what I'm saying. The fourth theme: <span style="color:#FFFFFF">executives</span>. Have fun
<span style="color:#FFFFFF" id="output-1b">>><span style="color:#9B9B9B">pica</span>.<span style="color:#1EFF00">nubloops</span>{<span style="color:#00FFFF">"confirm"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">true</span>,<span style="color:#00FFFF">"theme"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"executives"</span>}</span>
Welcome to the NUB LOOPS(tm) corporate lounge, brought to you by PiCa Breakfest Engineering and Archaic Labs. We're united in our pioneering spirit, disruptive impact, and eminently purchasable nature.
Yes - my voice is soft, authoritative yet deferent. Thank you for noticing. You clearly have excellent taste.
You're intrigued by NUB LOOPS(tm). I can tell. Only a fool wouldn't be. Look closer: that sleek white box, that silver-embossed and beautifully-kerned typeface? It looks like that because it respects you.
Did you know that our omnicereals and their packaging are both composed of ecologically-responsible, artificially-cultivated biomatter? That means that NUB LOOPS(tm) are good for the planet - and your margins.
NUB LOOPS(tm) are extremely cheap to manufacture. My god, you know? Haha, you get it. This is phenomenal scotch, isn't it? Cigar?
No - haha, no, I won't tell. So. To business? To business.
When you're ready, visit <span style="color:#9B9B9B">pica</span>.<span style="color:#1EFF00">public</span> and <span style="color:#9B9B9B">archaic</span>.<span style="color:#1EFF00">public</span> to see for yourself.
Go on. Make an executive decision.
<span style="color:#FFFFFF" id="output-1c">>><span style="color:#9B9B9B">pica</span>.<span style="color:#1EFF00">nubloops</span>{<span style="color:#00FFFF">"confirm"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">true</span>,<span style="color:#00FFFF">"theme"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"executives"</span>,<span style="color:#00FFFF">"explore"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"inside"</span>}</span>
The boardroom is a place of action. It is a gladitorial arena, a battlefield, the bridge of a <span style="color:#CACACA">7</span><span style="color:#FFF404">B</span><span style="color:#9B9B9B">GC</span> aircraft carrier awaiting your command. Sleek fighter jets wait to deploy a cross-continental payload of profit-rich NUB LOOPS(tm) at your command - you need only issue the order. Sign the cheque. Be the admiral of margins.
<span style="color:#FFFFFF" id="output-1d">>><span style="color:#9B9B9B">pica</span>.<span style="color:#1EFF00">nubloops</span>{<span style="color:#00FFFF">"confirm"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">true</span>,<span style="color:#00FFFF">"theme"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"executives"</span>,<span style="color:#00FFFF">"explore"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"outside"</span>}</span>
Golf? Well, I think we've earned it. Your savvy investment means that we'll make more in the course of eighteen holes than your personal assistant will in his lifetime. Ah, life. A fine shot, my friend! As strong and clear-eyed as I'd expect.
Don't worry about rushing back. The children are having a wonderful time in the club. The catering is excellent. NUB LOOPS(tm)? Ha, no. Of course not.
<span style="color:#FFFFFF" id="output-1e">>><span style="color:#9B9B9B">pica</span>.<span style="color:#1EFF00">nubloops</span>{<span style="color:#00FFFF">"confirm"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">true</span>,<span style="color:#00FFFF">"theme"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"executives"</span>,<span style="color:#00FFFF">"explore"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"crowsnest"</span>}</span>
Do not think of NUB LOOPS(tm) as a breakfast cereal. Indeed, the question of whether NUB LOOPS(tm) qualify as food is best left to philosophers, not people of business. Instead, think of them as the building blocks of a yacht-in-potentiate. Not literally: we would never be so vulgar, and NUB LOOPS(tm) are not a seaworthy building material. No: NUB LOOPS(tm) are money, potentially your money, awaiting your instruction. Imagine.
She's a fine old vessel, isn't she? Brand new, you know. Here, let me fix your ascot. No, no, you look wonderful.
<span style="color:#FFFFFF" id="output-1f">>><span style="color:#9B9B9B">pica</span>.<span style="color:#1EFF00">nubloops</span>{<span style="color:#00FFFF">"confirm"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">true</span>,<span style="color:#00FFFF">"theme"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"executives"</span>,<span style="color:#00FFFF">"explore"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"saloon"</span>}</span>
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Business.
<span style="color:#FFFFFF" id="output-20">>><span style="color:#9B9B9B">pica</span>.<span style="color:#1EFF00">nubloops</span>{<span style="color:#00FFFF">"confirm"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">true</span>,<span style="color:#00FFFF">"theme"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"executives"</span>,<span style="color:#00FFFF">"explore"</span>:<span style="color:#FF00EC">"graveyard"</span>}</span>
We need not think of such matters here. We certainly do not speak of them.
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